After the First Kiss - 9 Tips on What to Do Next
So you went for the first kiss and it happened. Hey, you didn’t make it too long, did you? You pulled away a second before she did. Great!
Well, now what? How do you deal with that awkward moment after the first kiss?
What to say after kissing her for the first time?
Start talking. But not about anything! Look her in the eyes and continue the conversation where you left off or start a new relevant topic.
Act as if nothing happened or at least nothing special, apart from the fact that you guys got a bit more physical.
Silence crawled into the conversation. We couldn’t talk for a few seconds. But we are back where we left off.
OR
I had an epiphany while kissing you, but I couldn’t tell you because my mouth was busy.
If she asks what it was, look her in the eyes and with serious face say:
It was the first time I was in you. (trifilingly of course)
Keep the pace after the first kiss
As you pull away and open your eyes, she will most likely be looking at you. It’s a delicate moment – she might be feeling vulnerable or insecure. Keep eye contact. Don’t look away under any circumstances. Reaffirm your action to convey certainty to help her feel comfortable.
Shift your gaze
From her eyes to her forehead and down to her lips. Then look her in the eyes and utter with a grin:
Your mischievous smile, along with your candid eyes is like a mix of trouble and innocence. I want to take it at its face value, but I am curious to find out more.
Include opposite remarks – compliments mingled with wit. Subtlety is the key! Don’t push to extremes. Start small. Tease.
In my example, mischievous is a mixed word as it connotes playfulness as well as causing trouble. Candid is clearly a positive trait. Innocent could be positive or neutral, while trouble is negative again.
The total sum of “negapositiveness” should be close to zero making the sentence neutral. This avoids being bland while not sounding obnoxious.
Notice though – the word choice is subtle. There are no big spikes, whether positive or negative, nothing along the lines of “You’re awesome – you’re ridiculous” or “I love you – I hate you”.
Keep escalating following the first kiss
The delicious experience has now turned into memories and the taste of the first kiss is slowly fading away.
The “Point of No Return” has passed. The tension dwindled. But it isn’t time to relax and play it safe!
You can still end up in the friend zone if you get too smug!
Up to this point, you have been gradually escalating:
- Teasing her
- Leading the interaction/date
- Touching her in a socially accepted way
- Hugging her
- Adding more intimacy to your hugs
- Holding her hand in an intimate way
- Stroking and tucking her hair behind the ear
Keep doing all that!
She might have doubts that the kiss didn’t go well. So don’t amplify them. Keep moving the interaction forward!
Hold her hand longer
When kissing her for the first time, you held her hand and were aware of time. Now keep the pace, add more intimacy, and solidify the connection.
Hold her hand longer, but not too long. It might seem needy. Hold for twenty seconds and then let go unless you’re doing something with her hand. For example, swinging it while striding across the promenade or spinning her around in a dance. There is no set limit, but five minutes straight is way too long for a first date.
Walk the fine line. Avoid conveying neediness. But, keep the “man and woman on a date” narrative playing in the background.
Don’t ask her
Don’t ask if she wants to check out that tattoo shop?
Assume you have the permission – take her hand and lead – she will follow!
Grab her hand when you guys crack a joke. Hold it for a second, spin her around, pull her in and make out. Lead her one way, then instantly turn around and tug her the other way as if you were kidding.
Her cooperation shows her joy of playfulness. It’s a sign that she appreciates your willingness to take the initiative.
Women love when men are willing to lead!
Lead her to places
Mix up places. Bouncing her from a crowded place to a more secluded one enriches the experience and enhances the narrative. The broader experience allows for more familiarity. And the more familiar she is with you, the more she will trust you.
Consider this. You meet for smoothies or a similar beverage at 4 pm. Ten minutes later you’re cracking jokes in a park. Half an hour later you’re at a tattoo salon. And finally, you end up at a rooftop when the sun is about to set down.
It can easily evoke a feeling in her that she has known you longer than the duration of the date!
In contrast, sitting at the same table for an hour straight, sipping smoothies and taking turns to exchange bios can bore her to death.
A date spent in a single place is prone to boredom! Unless, obviously, you can entertain with you mere speech. But that’s unlikely assuming you’ve read this far.
It doesn’t have to be a wild adventure!
Imagine this. You both went to check out the coffee place next door. The menu sucked, so you offered smoothies next door and then led her across the street by holding her hand. This adds so much to the common narrative, broadening the experience and building trust.
The date would appear more like an adventure to her. She will trust you with leading her to new places, including perhaps your “castle”…
Schedule a kiss
Notify her ahead of time on when and where your next kiss will take place.
She might ask: Where are we going?
Your response: That little cute bridge, I am taking you there so that you can get kissed passionately by a handsome guy with black(red, pink) beard!
This displays confidence, shows a willingness to take chances, and creates intrigue.
If she responds with something like: You are so confident it will happen?
You would say: We all create our own fate, our thoughts and beliefs determine the outcome.
Said in a confident way as if that comes from your own experience, this phrase shows that you are in charge of your life.
Be closer
Find a lovely bench in a park, on a promenade, or any other secluded place. Sit her on your lap so that you face each other.
This is a perfect time to mix in kisses, light make-outs, and intimate caressing.
You can run your hand from her hair to her chin and back. Continue to her waist and once you reach it, pull her closer.
Reach for her hair and tuck it behind her ear. Look her in the eyes and pull her in for a kiss. Tell her that you enjoy inhaling her perfume mingled with her natural smell.
Slow down the talk! The conversation will get more intimate. It would be easier to pause and kiss her for a few seconds and then get back to where you left off.
Mix in some playfulness. Find reasons to “punish” her. If she said something “inappropriate”, whisper to her that punitive actions are now taking place.
Then, before she has a chance to respond, gently but in a playful way, pull her hair from behind and lightly bite her neck. This will draw an emotional reaction from her. She might laugh, complain, or even scream (playfully I hope).
Sweep her off her feet
Skip this section if she is NOT within your lifting abilities! :)
Otherwise, tell her she earned a free five-second ride by behaving well on this date. After lifting her tell her to hold tight as you start spinning her around.
Make out while you’re holding her! If you feel like it, carry her across the street to sit on that “special” bench.
If you know she will resist being lifted, do this trick.
As you walk beside her, stop to tighten your shoelace. Bend down and pretend like you’re going to fix it. Now you’re in the perfect position to sweep her off her feet! As you’re getting up, just pick her up. Commit, don’t hesitate.
Properly assess your abilities and her body weight before attempting.
Guess who
An old and well-forgotten game. We played it as children. But all the novelties are well-forgotten antiquities.
Next time you need to leave her to “run to the bathroom” or “take a phone call”, surprise her upon returning. Instead of just walking back, crawl from behind, cover her eyes with your hands, and utter “Guess who?”
Even though it’s obvious who the hell this hero is, it wouldn’t ruin the experience. She wouldn’t expect this.
Standing spoon
We all love cuddling with the right person. I have never met a girl who hated spooning. They love the role of “little spoon” while lying next to a handsome man.
Well, you can create that experience without pulling her into a bedroom!
Lead her to a scenic spot to show something in the distance. If there is nothing scenic around, pick anything. A silly cafe sign such as Barbara’s Pancakes will work!
You need a reason for both of you to stare in the same direction!
Steps:
- Take her hand and turn her in the direction of Barbara’s Pancakes
- Slip behind her, wrap your arms on top of hers and point her hand at the silly cafe sign
- Whisper “That green sign on a yellow background looks adorable and sketchy at the same time”
Turn the volume of your voice down a notch and whisper whatever you feel at that moment. Inhale the smell of her hair. Enjoy the moment and let her enjoy it with you!
Prank her
Trick her: “See that short brunette girl wearing a green jacket – she is my neighbor. Let’s prank her. She has a great personality and will appreciate it.”
In reality, you intent to prank your date. This is a great way to engage with random people while acting like a couple.
Instruct your date: “Approach her and say that you know me, I will join in a minute.” Then actually join and admit you were kidding but you thought it would be fun meeting someone new. Introduce yourself and resolve the awkward moment with humor!
This will be one of those peculiar memories. Something you can always recall and laugh about later.
The common mistake we all make is aiming for a “perfect” date. It makes everything boring and platonic. It rids your experience of fun and uncertainty. Instead, keep it authentic, genuine, and real.
Be creative and don’t be afraid to take chances. It will only reassure your confidence and decisiveness!
Hey, check out these posts if you want to read more on the topic:
How to Kiss a Girl for The First Time
How to Sound Confident and Attractive when you speak
5 Tips for Attractive and Charming Posture
Best Dating Advice for Men Each Guy Must Know