How To Take A Girl Home On The First Date
How many times have you been on a date with an alluring girl and it was going well, but you just didn't know or were too afraid to offer her to move somewhere more secluded with you? Specifically, take her home?
I personally had that quite often in my dating life. It is this feeling of the unknown, a possibility of her refusing and the whole situation becoming awkward after such an attempt, that scared me the most.
So often I decided not to go for this "Big Step" and instead chose to comfortably continue the date, hoping that some things will work out and we will magically end up in my house at some point.
Unfortunately, we are creators of our own fate and without taking chances, we won't end up where we want to be!
As you might have guessed nothing ever happened without me taking actions...
I was basically procrastinating afraid to take a chance.
See, every time you're moving your interaction/date forward -- you're escalating! And whenever you're escalating, there is a big risk of rejection. That is why we're so afraid to do it.
Because first, we don't like to be rejected. Second, we don't know how to handle the rejection and steer the interaction back in a positive direction. And third, we assume that one single rejection is the END of a successful date!
Surprisingly or maybe not so much, this is all NOT TRUE. It is this fear that's holding us back from finding out how much greatness is there on the other side of the risk, anxiety, and discomfort.
I was scared because I felt like jumping into the unknown. So instead of it being unknown, I decided to find out all about it so it is no longer unknown, but something I am comfortable with.
Prerequisites
You guessed it right, it is sort of a curriculum and there is a bit of nerdy academics involved along with all the fun you're about to have on your date.
Regardless of how "advanced" our society is today when it comes to no-judgment towards women for being promiscuous, going home on a first date is still considered by many as "Oh my god you're such a whore" thing to do.
So a lot of times women are reluctant and uncomfortable with this step regardless of how much they are attracted and trusting you. I consider it is our job to put her at ease when making this step.
So what are these prerequisites to make her feel like she is going home with someone she trusts and knows for a really long time?
She is comfortable with you holding her hand
This is extremely important! This is a number one prerequisite before bringing her home. In my article 9 Tips On What To Do After The First Kiss I talk about how to hold her hand after the initial first kiss.
If you're however having trouble getting to hold her hand initially, check out my article How to Kiss a Girl for The First Time. Holding hands shouldn't be a routine or something on a schedule, it should be more like unexpected necessity accompanied by a sudden spike of emotions.
A good example from the same article is crossing a street and grabbing her hand and ordering her to walk you across the street because otherwise your safety might be compromised because your mom is not around :)
Touching her chin
This is something silly and playful...
As I mentioned in my article How to Kiss a Girl for The First Time, transitioning from tucking her hair behind her ear to gently caressing her cheek and moving down to her chin is not only a perfect "Hollywood Love Scene" but also an effective way to build intimacy with your own date!
On top of that, chin is a perfect leverage point to turn her head in any direction and throw the "beautiful earrings" compliment at her while mentioning that her ears are of an adorable shape.
Tucking her hair
Not only this is a very intimate gesture, but also it is something of significance to her if she lets you do that.
Her hair and her ear are like a "sacred" place that only a few people are admitted to. If you got access to that, it is a great indicator that the rapport you built with her is not only of intimate nature, but she is aroused by your actions.
From my own experience, most of the women are actually getting turned on by this act and if she lets you continue, it means she desires to be more physical with you. She is getting turned on by your touches!
Touching her face
Refer to my article How to Kiss a Girl for The First Time where not only I describe steps needed to be able to comfortably touch her face, but I also explain why it is fundamental to continue the date with a right vibe.
Note: touching her face with the outer side of your hand is preferred because some women put a lot of effort to caring for their face skin and are reluctant of touching their own face without washing their hands prior to that, not even mentioning someone else's hands! If she does let you touch her face, it is a good indicator that she trusts you!
Maybe short gentle caressing of her butt
However, do not escalate beyond this point until you are in your house! One of the strongest fears women have is a fear of being perceived slutty.
Some women overcome it, others don't. This factor can ruin everything.
Even if all is going well and she wants it to continue and she trusts you and all the stars in the night sky are aligned, her emotional circuitry can take control of her actions.
So many times it happened to me when everything is going well, we're kissing, hugging sharing intimate moments with each other. But then all of a sudden after returning from the bathroom she pulls away and raises her guard so high that I am having trouble even touching her now.
So do not get too sexual until you actually brought her to your house!
Good Logistics
An ideal case scenario is obviously when either your house or her place is in proximity or even walking distance from where you both are.
This is something to plan before the date while discussing with her a place and time to meet.
If logistics is great and your house is in proximity, you can skip the next section**.**
If all not so easy, keep reading on.
Not so Good Logistics
If it's a spontaneous date, inconvenient location or you just met her, but feeling like you made a great connection with her and ready to take her somewhere more secluded, then create a route!
So instead of trying to take her home which is several miles away in one step, take her to an intermediate location. Or maybe run her through several intermediate locations building more trust and comfort on the way!
If you have read my post 5 First Date Tips Each Guy Must Know, you would remember that I personally prefer creating a route and running a girl through few different places throughout the date rather than hanging out at one single cafe or bar.
The same thing applies here. It is better to run her through several different places so then going home with you would be no different than just switching bars in a quest for better music!
Find an intermediate place at least half-way to your house, but ideally right next to it: "I know this hookah lounge we can continue our conversation at in a relaxed manner letting our collective charisma guide our mood..."
Last Rampart
Fast forwarding -- you arrived at the hookah bar. What to do here? You guessed it -- the same thing as I mentioned in the post 9 Tips On What To Do After The First Kiss. Nothing would change with an exception of you now slowly seeding a possibility of showing her your sacred book collection(blue Nemo fish, lovely puppy or something else spectacular at your house) because you trust her enough!
Doesn't it feel like she earned your trust now? Like she needs to qualify herself for you to show her something "sacred"?
Mentioning that a couple of times and then getting her to agree is essentially a goal here. The important thing is not to mention things like "showing you my house", "going to my place" or even worse "Netflix".
Take the house, bedroom, living room and even kitchen out of the context. Do not put emphasis on it at all. It shouldn't be of big importance. The most important thing is that she earned your trust and you are willing to show her that secret book collection.
Go Go Go
She technically already agreed and is eager to check out your book collection.
Right before stepping into your house, make her promise that she won't judge you based on the condition of your house...
In reality, it has to be clean, come on man, take time to prepare for such a beauty to step into your castle! Yes from now on refer to it as castle even if it's a 5 by 5 studio!
The trick is that by giving this promise she would think that your house is a mess and you worry about her perception of you as a reflection of the condition of your house. But in reality, all you're doing is spiking her interest in visiting your house even more!
Now, remember warrior, regardless of what happens next or doesn't happen, you still accomplished a lot! At the very least the benefit of bringing her home is that she would feel more comfortable coming home with you next time.
There might or might not be next time, but the experience stays with you FOREVER!
How to Kiss a Girl for The First Time
9 Tips On What To Do After The First Kiss
5 Tips for Attractive and Charming Posture
Best Dating Advice for Men Each Guy Must Know
How to Sound Confident and Attractive when you speak