How to Get out of the Friend Zone – 7 Tips for an Escape Plan

She uttered the cold verdict, “Let’s just be friends”, sentencing you to the Friend Zone prison. Whether announced or implied through a pep talk, it hurts the same.

Let’s just be friends translates to I don’t mind your physical presence but you genes should definitely not make it into the next generation. – Jordan Peterson

A bitter pill to swallow. I know, I have been there and suffered just like you do right now. I am about to share with you how I dealt with it. Read on if you want to get out of the friend zone. The best solution is to stay away from the friend zone.

Prevention is better than cure

But since you already ended up in there, let’s review the “Escape Plan”.

From a Friend Zone Prisoner to a Dad or Cad

Seldom do women explain why they no longer consider dating us.

In her post Why Do the Wrong Men Feel so Right, Vinita Mehta explains the differences between Dads and Cads.

Women put us into two major categories: Dads and Cads. A dad is a comforting and reliable partner suitable for a long-term relationship. A cad is a dominant and more charismatic fellow ideal for a short-term dating.

Those who didn’t make it to either, are usually sent to the friend zone.

To succeed in reproduction, women seek out the best of two worlds.

To get out of the Friend Zone you need to become a Challenge

If you’re not challenging, teasing, and flirting with her, she has no incentive to chase.

I don’t advocate playing hard-to-get, but women like occasional opportunities to chase!

Ask yourself:

• Do you allow yourself to bluntly disagree with her or do you go along with most of what she says?
• Do you agree with her to “connect” emotionally?
• Do you do things for her to compensate for the lack of emotional connection?
• Are you trying to attract her by doing favors hoping she will reciprocate your feelings?
• Do you try to please her?
• Do you put her needs and interests before yours?

These deeds do NOT create attraction. They create liking feelings.

Liking feelings won’t get you the girl.

So stop looking for a back door into an intimate relationship. Knock on the front door and risk getting rejected.

Stop Being Nice if you want to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Nice guys often act friendly and even please others due to the fear of getting confronted. People have more mercy for them.

Nice guys are often sexually timid, which isn’t one of the attractive male traits. They also conceal their personality and are not as expressive as they could be. That displays the wrong personality which repels women.

The true motives for acting nicely toward a girl you like might have a deep psychological origin. You might not even realize that you expect her to return a favor in a form of intimate affection.

Nice guys draw liking feelings, but those aren’t enough to cause attraction.

So stop being nice! You don’t have to become an asshole either. There are other options, such as being YOU!

Escape the Friend Zone

We attribute a chunk of female attractiveness to her physicality and appearance. Does the same hold true for men? Behavioral psychology suggests that women rate our attractiveness based on our demeanor. Behavioral traits make up a chunk of male attractiveness.

By changing your behavior around her, you can influence how she feels toward you. You can create an attraction!

But don’t do those things that led you to the friend zone.

Being Needy keeps you in the Friend Zone

Acting needy will push her away even further!

She might tolerate your neediness out of politeness, but it irritates women most of the time.

Instead, fill your life with exciting hobbies, new friends, and attractive women. Add more new events to dilute the boredom of a daily routine and pick up the sport you always wanted to.

If you want different results, begin acting differently.

Feel free to tell her, but not in a boastful or butthurt way. Invite her into your life, but don’t beg. While you want her to join, your life is already full of excitement!

Refuse to be Her Emotional Tampon

Women are emotional, especially during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. Don’t be that shoulder to cry on.

It’s ok to comfort people, but you are attracted to this girl and your goal is to avoid the friend zone.

Pull Away

Refuse to linger in the friend zone.

Stop talking to her or at least cut down without coming across as butthurt.

If you wonder what’s next, it’s the most exciting part. You pulled away but how will you reconcile with her in an intimate way?

You won’t! At least not right away. You need some time apart. It’s part of the plan.

Invest in Yourself while you’re in the Friend Zone

Thyself is the last asset you’re going to lose in this life!

It’s also the first thing to invest in. You are your most valuable asset and the one women find or don’t find attractive. Your skills, experience, and knowledge is your security and your “beauty”.

You will never see a U-haul behind a hearse. -Denzel Washington

You won’t be taking anything with you out of this world.

Astute investors always invest in themselves, in their self-education and improvement. Calculating ROIs on investment is secondary!

The most valuable asset we have is TIME! Use it to improve yourself. Start exercising or playing your favorite sport on a regular basis. Improve your diet to look and feel better.

Pick up an interesting book to expand your vocabulary and broaden your outlook.

Hone your communication and interpersonal skills. Talk to strangers and cold-approach women in social situations. Talk to other girls, get a different perspective, refresh your mind, face your fears, question your beliefs, step into the unknown.

Maintain the Tension!

If you talk to her once in a while, don’t comfort her, and don’t please her as you did in the past.

Intrigue her with the snippets of your exciting experiences.

She will get interested. And that’s your shot.

Make a Comeback

It might sound counter-intuitive, but women gravitate to those men who have plenty of other options!

It doesn’t mean you must sleep around. It means you should have several options, but choose her. It will make her feel like she is winning you over. The vibe you send out should convey ample attention from women.

Now she has a reason to re-evaluate her decision and reprieve you from the friend zone.

Add some wit and banter to your conversations. Tease her, flirt with her, and gradually begin inviting her into your life again.

This time she won’t pass up the opportunity!