What Do Women Find Attractive in Men

Attracting women of high caliber requires appropriate behavior. This only applies to cases when you want to attract women from your league or slightly above. Only then it’s practical to know what do women find attractive in men because you already got what it takes, you just need to know the principles of attraction.

For all other cases read the rest of the articles on this blog and be ready to seriously tune your game! Because come on, let’s be real, a scene when a “barely six” rated guy tries to pick up a “ten”, which constantly has hundreds of male eyes on her, resembles exclusively unreal fairy tales. I am not trying to kill anyone’s dreams, but first get used to getting girls in your league, then move half a league up, then another one until you are satisfied with your dating life and no longer asking what do women find attractive in men.

Very little from what you’re about to read has to do with physical traits and appearance. But more with behavior and the way you carry yourself. Although everything matters in aggregate and you should always improve yourself in every area.

So what do women find attractive in men?

Mystery/Uncertainty

Women would rather wonder whether you find them attractive than know in advance that you do. For her, whether you are attracted or not should seem conditional and uncertain. Knowing in advance takes all the thrill and fun away from her. It’s like a cat string, you bring it too close, she knows she can have it and it’s no longer interesting.

She would rather chase it and be thrilled by it. However, if it’s way out of her reach, she loses interest as well. Give her the opportunity to chase, at least sometimes.

They prefer it this way. I know it sounds odd to us, but women didn’t choose to be this way, evolutionary psychology did. You can defy it, you can deny it, you can refuse to believe it, but I decided just to accept and roll with it.

Why are women more into guys when they don’t know whether guys like them or not? Pretty obvious actually – while they try to figure out whether the guy likes them or not, they spend more time thinking about him. And the more time they spend thinking about the guy, the more they convince themselves that they like him. Sort of positive reinforcement loop. Till obviously they find themselves obsessed with the guy.

The hotter and more-pursued women are used to know how a man thinks of her. Once she finds a man who seems uncertain, she gets curious, unsure, wondering and finally interested. She might think why is he not interested, let me change that.

Standards

Scan for traits. Qualify. Physical attributes are OK. But they should be at the bottom of the list and definitely not the only factor. Write down what non-physical attributes you want in a woman and then actively scan for those during your conversations with them. This will show them that you somewhat have other women in your life, because you wouldn’t be so selective otherwise.

Women are repelled by eagerness and despair. When you have plausible standards, and you adequately demonstrate that to women, they perceive you more selective and unconsciously assume abundance of women in your life. And as I said before: women love men who are surrounded by other women. This is called pre-selection in evolutionary psychology.

Obviously calibrate when you qualify, you have to be able to backup your demands. Otherwise it’s straight bluffing and women sense that easily.

Bear the Burden of Conversations

Bearing a burden in conversations is quite often our job. At least in the beginning. If you are doing the majority of the talking all the time, then something is off. However, in the very beginning, when a girl doesn’t know much about you, she can’t come up with topics to talk about either. That’s when you must be willing to bear the burden of the conversation for some time.

Keen Sense of Humor

We are not born with it. This is learned. Humor and comedy are teachable!

It makes men seem intelligent. You don’t have to be a scripted comedian. But adding some humor, throwing in some quips and witty remarks into your conversations will make you more interesting in the eyes of women. Joking, teasing and being witty is the essence of flirting.

Treating conversations triflingly half of the time is only going to make you multifaceted, intriguing and as a result more attractive. Ability to laugh with people. That’s important because often we, men, tend to want to make others laugh, but laughing with and at their quips is less common.

A cad with a dog is more attractive than a dad with a dog

Women do LIKE men that are suitable for long-term relationships – nurturing, warm and caring – perfect dad candidates. However, having cad traits, while showing a commitment potential is way way more attractive to women!

So being a pure faithful and reliable dad won’t cut it – it’s just too prevalent in our world today. Merely the commitment to do anything for your woman won’t make her attracted to you physically – which is what we truly desire! Yes it makes her comfortable and safe, but she has other needs that we must cater to. And those are of a higher priority if you are looking to attract her sexually!

Unpredictability

It’s no secret that women love when things “just happen”. They don’t want to feel responsible for what’s happening. Notice how they refer to events in their stories: “one thing led to another”, “and then we both felt it in the moment and kinda went for it…”, “he called exactly when my class finished so we decided to go for smoothies”, etc.

Be unpredictable. Keep the narrative intriguing and unknown. Let her feel like that things are just happening instead of coming across as “try hard”.

Social Intelligence is Very Attractive to Women

This includes the ability to interact with others effectively and bear conversations in stressful situations. Willingness to take risks within a communication is a very attractive trait: add some wit in all of your conversations, be bold to remark with that edgy quip, add some humor and be willing to banter with women whenever possible.

Ability to influence others, making effective arguments or merely showing great use of language are all the factors playing in your favor. It all starts with comfort in social settings. Merely getting acclaimed and desensitized to a social environment is already a great leap.

Staying calm, comfortable and confident is already half the game. Showing qualities of a leader and taking risks in social settings is the other.

So among all the listed traits, what do women find attractive the most? I believe this is the number one trait that has the majority share of the attraction effect.

How to be more attractive to women?

Being more attractive to women starts with behavior. Unlike us, girls don’t put so much emphasis on looks. Yes, being in shape, taking care of your body and loving yourself is important, but only if you are doing that for yourself and not for a sole purpose to impress a girl. Women don’t find it attractive when we try hard just to impress them.

Be talkative

Conversation is like a mutual basket for dewberries. You both invest in there. Seldom do women want to invest a lot in the beginning, so you have to carry out this task. Your ability and willingness to bear this burden in the beginning of the conversation is attractive.

Talk loud

Not to scream but to talk as loud as possible whenever possible and appropriate but still within your vocal range and abilities. Voice is associated with authority and dominance. Women are gravitated and drown to men who sound confident and assertive. Don’t be timid and avoid indecisiveness. Say things confidently or at least try to without sounding fake or try hard.

Know how to listen

We shall first seek to listen and understand rather than seek to be understood. Though you have to be talkative, your words should be relevant to the context of the conversation, which like chess, changes rapidly and unpredictably. So it’s critical to watch it closely by listening to her responses and comments and reacting appropriately.

Keep eye contact

This is an art by itself and probably requires a separate article. But in short, don’t stare her down, but don’t let your eyes wander either. They have to be naturally confident, smooth and unrelentless. Too much staring is at least awkward, but often intimidating.

Looking away and avoiding eye contact shows lack of confidence. Sounds shallow I know, but this is something that comes with experience. Pay attention to where you’re looking and for how long. Know how to juggle it. Don’t stare, but don’t look away. Don’t let your eyes wonder, but don’t look at one spot forever either.

Be Busy to be more attractive to women

Be less available. Notice I said less available, not unavailable. It’s a fine line. Don’t make yourself unavailable on purpose, but be busy enough so that there are certain times during the week when you are able to meetup.

Be passionate about something

Have interests and hobbies and actively promote and share those with her. Pull her into your hobbies because you will be naturally passionate when talking about those.

Be polarizing and opinionated

Stand your ground. Don’t agree if you genuinely disagree. You don’t have to make your disagreement known explicitly, but at least don’t pretend to agree for the sake of having something in common. It’s quite disgusting.

Display your flaws

Don’t hide them. Instead take pride in them. Almost like you have something to work on and it makes life more interesting kinda attitude. Don’t hide your fears, instead show that you are tackling them one at a time. This shows her more courage than pretending to be fearless.

Instigate

Trigger her emotions. This is probably the most important takeaway from this article. Emotions is the language of women. They communicate this way and they respond to it better. So why not speak their language to understand them and be understood better.